Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that can be used to gain power or control over another person. Through repeated denial, contradiction, blame, or dismissal, gaslighting can gradually disconnect you from your intuition and make it difficult to trust your own memories, feelings, and perceptions. Not so long ago I wrote a post about the process of learning to trust your gut. Here is a more specific explanation about the impacts of gaslighting and what you can do about it.
Over time, you may begin to question your judgment, character, abilities, or aspirations. You might feel confused, anxious, ashamed, or panicked—especially when your lived experience is repeatedly challenged by someone you trust. Once self-confidence has been eroded, you may become increasingly reliant on the other person’s version of events.
It is important to remember that you cannot make another person acknowledge or change their gaslighting behavior. Trying harder to explain yourself, prove what happened, or find the perfect words may only draw you further into the cycle. While you cannot control their choices, you can take steps to reconnect with yourself and loosen the hold their behavior has had on you.
Begin by reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or other supportive people. Gaslighting often thrives in isolation, while safe relationships can provide perspective, validation, and practical support. You might also create a “before and after” list: How did you feel about yourself before this relationship, and how do you feel now? Seeing these changes in writing can be sobering, but it may also help you recognize what has been happening and clarify what you need next.
A trauma-informed therapist can support you in rebuilding trust in your perceptions, strengthening boundaries, and developing a plan that prioritizes your emotional and physical safety. If you are considering leaving an abusive or controlling relationship, seek professional support and create a safety plan rather than confronting the person alone.
Healing from gaslighting is not simply about ending a harmful dynamic. It is also about reclaiming your voice, reconnecting with your intuition, and remembering that your feelings and experiences are worthy of being heard.
If you recognize yourself in these experiences, you do not have to navigate the confusion and self-doubt alone. If you are in California and would like support, I invite you to contact me to schedule a consultation.